Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
