Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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