Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
