new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
