This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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