She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
