discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
