This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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