I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
