More tranny stories later!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Even my vagina gasped.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
