Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize