TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
