you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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