I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
