There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize