I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize