Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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