i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
