I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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