We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
