You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
