all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
