the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
