apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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