I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
