I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
