Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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