God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
