we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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