Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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