he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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