You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
