Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
