for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
