I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
