he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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