I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
