Just fell off a train. Bad.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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