the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we're making bets on your personal life
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
