Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
