you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
