Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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