I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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