i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
we're so committed to being not committed
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
