i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
