Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
