everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I intend to get homeless drunk
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
