I'm gonna have a badass scar
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
