she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
