I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
