WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
