things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
