the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my shit smells like andre
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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