Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
