It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
