did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize