Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
