i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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