remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
